The reality is that we have an enemy that is out to steal our peace, our joy, and our purpose. Many of us have experienced it. This enemy always tends to catch us off guard and haunt us in our thoughts and thinking.
How many times have you tossed and turned at night in bed thinking about the things that you regret? We oftentimes lose sleep worrying about the things that happened that day or over the years and wrestle with these past events that we have absolutely no control over.
My Jamaican Roots
Growing up with an African American mom and Jamaican dad had its challenges and there were so still many things that I am still learning about my father’s heritage and culture. This new journey of meeting my father’s family has been a wonderful experience. But before understanding who I was and loving my Jamaican background, I can still remember when I first begin to experience feelings of rejection because of who I was.
Rejection doesn’t spare its rod on anyone no matter our age, race or background. We even experience it in our adult lives, sometimes causing us to reflect back to the times throughout our childhood on things we hoped to forget. Ever look back over moments you’d simply love to take a special eraser and just blot out? Well, I am with you! I have been there too!
The one thing about rejection is true, it doesn’t spare its rod on any of us. At some point or another, we all have experienced it and most likely we experience in one form or another and on many occasions throughout our lifetime. But the one thing I have learned about the terrible, isolating, heartbreaking feeling of rejection is- the more we replay these experiences it tends to burn a little more, leaving us damaged from the effects and life-impacting traumas.
Being the youngest child being born with a father from Jamaican and mother is African American took a toll on my identify at a very young age. I often wondered as a small child why couldn’t I have been born with an American father. But I’ve grown to learn that it is the differences between us and our lives that give us identity. It’s what separates us and gives us our fingerprints.
Purpose queen, maybe you didn’t experience rejection of your identity. Maybe it was rejection from a friend or friends, rejection from parents or an authority figure. Whatever it was and whoever played a role in it, it is time to pass through it. Sometimes all it takes is a fresh set of lenses.
We can not say it will never happen again but we can learn ways to get through these times of rejection with less damage and hurt. It first starts by understanding that every wrong and mean thing that we experience, we have the power to change and turn it around for our good and help others who have or will experience it. Let’s go over a few ways we can overcome feelings of rejection.
2 Tips To Jumpstart The Process
Understand it’s not your fault. You have not done anything wrong. The person who rejected you just didn’t recognize your worth and may have just done you a favor. You want people around you who value, respect you, and accept you for who you are. They’ve only made room for you to have the necessary space for those who are of your tribe. I think if we actually knew the type of people we actually enjoy being around and come to the place of only wanting those we want us then we are liberated from the opinions and approval of others.
When you understand the type of people who make your life happier is when you stop settling for those who don’t approve of you. You can’t change your family members (not that you’d want to) but you can change and pick your associations.
The idea that you get to choose a circle of people who you actually enjoy being around is a wonderful privilege and option that we grow to appreciate as we mature and stop wanting those around who don’t get us or see our worth. I have to say that once this option is understood it can become very freeing.
These challenges of rejection don’t have to be painful but should be seen as building blocks. Use those negative experiences as a time to reflect and learn. This could be a hard time but it is important to see the lessons that you learned.
Oftentimes we go through the pain of these experiences without grabbing the gems and diamonds that have been built from the pressure that took place in the process. Grab your diamond and keep your head up high. And don’t get me wrong it sometimes does really hurt, I get it.
But there must come a time that you look back and realize that what is ahead of you is greater than the pain behind you. Keep a positive perspective and keep going forward towards your potential in the future. And remember, the best years are always ahead of you, not behind.
Signed, Your Purpose Influencer